Harry Potter The First Wizard Warlord
by HonorGuard Ra
Summary: Everyone has a limit to just how much crap they can take before they snap. Harry Potter has found his limit. Turn out those lights! Don't you know there's a war on? Inspired by the author Doghead13's: The Book of Dobby Reboot: Per Arcana ad Astra


Some people are more peaceful and patient than others, but everyone has a breaking point. After dealing with a corrupt government, A bumbling/manipulating headmaster, and the yearly attempt to kill him, Harry Potter has found his limit.  
This is what happens when a formerly peaceful boy puts his foot down and starts fighting back. This is the story of Harry Potter, the first magical warlord.  
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Inspired by Doghead13 and the CaerAzkaban Yahoo group. In remembrance of those who valiantly fought and died in the 1940's, so the world could be spared from madness. For those who live and die by their example today.  
We will never forget your courage, and we will never be able to repay your sacrifice.

"Remember the dead, but fight for the living." -Hellgate London

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(In which an offhand comment greases the wheels of war)

Cedric... That poor bastard was dead, while Voldemort was back and kicking. Harry was tired of the so called "leader of the light", as well as the Ministry of Magic. Old Dumbles was content to sit in his tower with his pipe and his lemon drops, while Minister Fudge was happy pretending Tom Riddle and his band of goons didn't exist. There was little Harry could do about it though, not without his wand. Harry rolled out of bed and put his head in his hands, contemplating the shit-storm his life had rapidly become. One week ago, a pair of dementors had come to Privet Drive, and attempted to have his soul for a snack. It went downhill from there, as Dudley turned up to taunt his not-so-normal cousin. One of the dementors had turned for the portly boy, and Harry's corporeal patronus had alerted the ministry to a case of underaged magic. The fact that underaged magic was used in front of a muggle made it much worse. Harry had no sooner gotten his cousin home and some chocolate in the poor boy's stomach before the Aurors came for him.

He didn't have a chance to defend himself from the following sham of a trial. Harry had argued in his defense that his cousin was aware of magic and that he had acted in self defense against a potentially fatal threat. Minister Fudge wouldn't hear it. The next slap in the face had been that a good bit of the students from Hogwarts had been present for the trial. The Malfoys, Snape, and several other Slytherins had been beside themselves with joy at seeing the boy-who-lived taken from wizard to wandless. Fudge was entirely too smug as instead of snapping the phoenix feather wand, the minister decided to keep the wand as a historical artifact. No one other than Harry had ever survived the killing curse, and snapping the wand of the boy-who-lived would have been political suicide.

Several unpredictible things had happened after the verdict. Millicent Bulstrode had a miniature mental breakdown, Hermoine Granger began yelling profanity, and it had only gotten more bizarre from there. Luna Lovegood had attempted to throttle Fudge and had to be physically restrained by several Aurors. Neville Longbottom had thrown a rock at the LeStrange twins, and then apparated out of the courtroom, completely bypassing the anti-apparition wards. When Harry had gotten back to Number 4, Privet Drive, Dudley had thrown himself at Harry's feet and tearfully begged his cousin for forgivness after the way Dudley had treated him. Vernon had not been happy to know that his boy had been saved by the family freak. Harry'd sent multiple letters via Hedwig to Hermoine, asking why a large Slytherin girl, Luna, and Neville had gone off the deep end at his trial, but he never got an answer back.

Then the most unexpected visitor Harry ever had, arrived on his doorstep. Madam Bones, Head of the Magical police force, was waiting outside after the sun went down. She had in short order, denounced the minister and asked Harry if there was anything she could do to make up for his misfortune.

"Madam Bones, What would you do if-" Snap-crack! The Aruror head raised her wand to point it at...Dobby? "Stoopid, Fooking, Menistrer Mistuh Fudge Sir is not be knowing what he is doing!" The house-elf tweaked his ears angrily and gave a startled squeak at seeing the wand pointed his way. Harry jumped up and pulled Mrs. Bones' arm down and the wand away from a cowering Dobby. "Madam Bones, wait! Dobby, what are you doing here?" "Dobby is be hearing," a teary sniff,"that Mistuh Harry potter Sir, is having his wand taken, and is being expelled from the wizardy school Hogwarts!"

Dobby would've thrown himself on the ground and raved about the unfairness of it all, but Harry stopped him. "Dobby, I've told you before, not to injure yourself." There was a small snort of pride and sadness from the little elf. "Mistuh Harry Potter sir is being too kind. Always too kind." Another sad sniffle issued from the distraught house-elf.

"Even as the stoopid ministraters of Magic be stealink Mistuh Harry Potter Sir's wand and crunching his happiness-ness, Mistuh Harry Potter Sir is still trying to be making elfses and the biggers happy and safe. T'ain't fair! Youse always try so hard to helps us and they's not care at all!" Dobby flopped down onto his backside, clearly unhappy with the world. As he lay in the Dursley yard, with Madam Bonsey Ma'am and the wonderful Mistuh Harry Potter Sir, Dobby sighed sadly and spoke,"I's wish I could leave Hogwarts and be Mistuh Harry Potter Sir's elf. Old Mistuh Dumbly-door Sir is being doing noffin' but sitt'n innis tower with his crazy-people-potion candy and his smokey pipe. He's not be helping Mistuh Harry Potter Sir at all."

Madam Bones did a double-take. "Mister Potter's wand has been taken, yes, but that does not stop him from procuring the services of a personal house-elf."

Dobby's eyes went very wide at this. Harry and Mrs. Bones looked at Dobby in surprise and Harry spoke, "What do you mean by crazy people candy?" It was Dobby's turn to look surprised. "Youse is not knowing? Mistuh Dumbly-door Sir is being brain sick. He is be loosing his marbles, going nutters!" Here, Dobby mimicked a crazy person, causing his ears to wobble in a comical fashion. "Bad Mistuh Snapey sir is be making potion-candy for him for long, long, time now." Mrs. Bones had a rather worried expression on her face. "Dobby, can you get one of these candies? Without anyone knowing?" The house-elf looked thoughtful as he stood back up.

"Dobby be tryin' this Missus Bonsey Ma'am! Dobby be back quick quick!" There was a brief sound like the snap-crack of a whip, and the little guy was gone.

Ten minutes later, Dobby returned with the same sound and a small bag. "Missus Bonsey Ma'am, Dobby is being back, but he is bringing more than one piece. This okay, yes?" The Auror nodded and took the bag as a small chime sounded from her wrist. "I'm off duty now but I still want a friend of mine to look at these candies. If I'm wrong, then there's nothing to worry about." She was about to stand and apparate home when the door opened and Dudley Dursley stepped onto the porch. Raising her wand to alter the boy's memory, she was startled when Harry spoke. "No need to obliviate him Missus Bones, He's been aware of magic for years." Dudley turned a decidedly white color and looked at his cousin for answers.

"Dudley, remember that movie you own 'bout aliens and the guys in the black suits?" An affirmitive nod. "When a witch or wizard obviliates someone, it's like the suit guys using that neurilizer thingy." The pudgy boy looked much more relieved, at least until he noticed Dobby.

"Dear lord what's thing?" The elf looked somewhat unamused. "Dobby is not being a thing. Dobby is a house-elf." Dudley raised both arms in an apologetic manner. "Sorry mate, didn't mean to make ya mad. Just never seen anyone what looks like you before." There was a deep sigh from the elf as he waved the boy off. "It be alright Mistuh Dudsey Sir, Dobby is just very very sad right now. The ministreries Mistuh Fudge Sir, he's take Mistuh Harry Potter Sir's wand away and kicks Mistuh Harry Potter Sir out of the wizardy school Hogwarts." Sigh.

"Wait a tic, you mean Harry savin' my arse got'im thrown outta school and his wand taken by that Fudge-packer bloke?" Dobby nodded his head yes and Dudley ran his fingers through his hair. He belatedly realized he had yet to introduce himself. "Sorry Dobby, Ma'am, I didn't introduce myself. I'm Dudley Dursley, Harry's prat of a cousin."

Mrs. bones gave a lop-sided smile and inclined her head slightly. "Madam Bones, Head of the Auror Department." Vernon's boy looked a bit confused. "Auror?" Harry chuckled and smiled. "She's like the badass boss of every magical cop in the U.K." The junior Dursley looked impressed. "Damn, that's cool 'innit?" Madam Bones gave a smug grin. "Oi, cousin, I've been thinkin', you pulled my arse outta some pretty deep stuff, 'an I ain't done a damn thing to show thanks. What say you, your chap, and the Missus come watch that movie I just got on the telly? Nothing works away rage like mindless violence and over large booms."

Harry looked thoughtfully at the auror on his porch. "whaddya say Missus Bones? Dobby?" Dobby smiled and Mrs. Bones quirked an eyebrow. "Wait. Before Dobby showed up, I was gonna ask what would happen if I could prove Sirius Black was innocent." The house-elf looked sheepish, the auror looked shocked. "You can prove such a claim?" Harry gave an impish grin. "Only if Dobby helps and you swear an oath on your life and your magic, not to arrest Sirius when he gets here." The woman stood and raised her wand, the tip glowing slightly.

"I, Madam Bones, Head of the Auror Department of the Ministry of Magic, do hereby swear on my life and my magic, not to apprehend Sirius Black on this day. So I swear, so shall it be!" There was a pulse of magic as the oath took effect and a Lumos spell took up residence on the tip of her wand. Harry gave a grim smile and looked at Dobby and Dudley. "Cousin, we have room for one more?" He got a nod, then turned to the house-elf and gave him an expectant look.

"Dobby can be getting Mistuh Sirius Black Sir. Does Mistuh Harry Potter Sir have a message to take?" A quick dash back into the house for paper and a pen ended with Harry coming out with a sealed envelope marked 'Padfoot'.  
"Dobby, Sirius has been in hiding for a while so he may be a bit twitchy. You pop-in and make sure he sees that bit on the front. That's very important." Dobby gave a deleriously happy grin, took the envelope, and disappeared with a snap. Dudley gave a strangled gasp and pointed at where Dobby used to be. "What the-What the hell? Where'd he go?" Harry gave an amused chuckle and told the inquisitive lad what apparition was; Needless to say the chubby teen was amazed. "You magical lot can teleport? You just disappear and wind up wherever you want, s'long as ya been there? Damn that's useful."

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-[Number 12, Grimmauld Place]-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Sirius Orion Black wasn't arrogant per se, but being the only man to ever be badass enough to break out of the triple max security wing of Azkaban Wizarding Prison-by himself no less... Well, let's face it, he's just that damn cool. Lately he'd been a bit bored, nervous too. Old Dumbles hadn't been by for a while, and the last month or so, he'd sent his fuck-awesome godson letter after letter, with no response. His normal nerves of steel had become a bit frayed, so he'd brought out his old bong, a keg of Newkie Brown, a large bag of reefer, and his old Iron Maiden Vynals. In the past month he'd chugged so much brew, listened to so much rock and roll, and smoked so much ganja that Cheech and Chong would bow down.

Sirius glared at the baggie of pot and muttered to himself, "This shit is weak, I need to get me some of that Afghan Gold!" He was about to light up again when a house-elf he didn't recognize popped out of the air in front of him, on his knees, with some tan paper-looking thing in his hands and chicken scratch lettering on the front. Wait a damn minute, that chicken scratch was familiar.

"Well, step forward and state your business. I've been in a right bad mood and you ain't helpin' any. Wait, you're that mad elf that's always looking after my godson! Dooby? No, Dobby! What'chu got there?" Dobby got up and cautiously gave the envelope to the slightly scary Mistuh Sirius Black Sir and watched the emotions fly across his face as the man read the letter.

(How's it Padfoot? Some weird shit's gone down recently. Had a pair of Dementors try to give me a little kiss a while back. Ended up using a patronus to scare the buggers off after they tried to take out my fat oaf cousin.) Two eyebrows went up to visit their buddy 'hairline' and Sirus' eyes switched over to widescreen. (That wanker Fudge nicked my wand and is keeping it as a historical artifact after I used underaged magic in front of a muggle.) 'Hairline' was in a pissy mood and shoved his mates down the stairs, while the man's eyes went all squinty. (I ain't been able to get in touch with Hermoine in ages... Hedwig always gets this real sad look whenever I give her a letter now. I think someone's messed with my mail like what happened a few years ago.) A disgruntled burst of air issued from the anigmus. "Fuckin' figures don't it?" (Anyway, shit get's weirder. Dudley's shaped up into a respectable bloke now, and I've got Madam Bones on my porch. She just swore an oath on her life and her magic not to haul you off to prison. She's giving us a chance to prove you're innocent!) He nearly dropped the letter and re-read the last bit five times out of shock. (So ya know this ain't a trap- "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." -Padfoot, I think it's time the Marauders spoke up. Get Dobby to bring your arse over here, and dammit man, bring a pensive. -Regards, Prongs Jr.)

Sirius sat perfectly still and sputtered for about five seconds, before springing up off the couch and sprinting up the stairs, three at a time. The messenger just stood there and blinked owlishly. "Uh...Dobby, be waiting here for Mistuh Sirius Black Sir?" There was a loud bang as Sirius kicked open the door to his old bedroom, crawled under his bed, and ripped up a few old floorboards. He came back down the stairs with a burlap sack full of goodies and snagged an extra large golden bowl and its stand before walking up to the still waiting Dobby. "Youse ready now, yes? Then you be hanging onto Dobby." Black put his left hand on Dobby's shoulder, and with a resounding -crack-, the two were off.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-[Number 4, Privet Drive]-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

"-so it's about this nutter we called Hitler an-" -crack- "SIRIUS!" Insert spine-snapping hug here. "Ow, damn cub, you're getting stronger. Missus Bones," Sirius raised his wand and continued to speak," I, Sirius Orion Black, do hereby swear on my life and my magic, to offer un-altered memories as proof of my innocence, in regards to betraying the Potter family, as well as memories proving my innocence in regards to the slaying of several muggles before my incarceration. So I swear, so shall it be!" a surge of magic issued from the Marauder. "Lumos!" The wandtip held a soft glow in the fading light and Dudley chose this moment to pipe in. "Well that bit was nifty and whatnot, but let's head inside. It's gettin' a bit nippy out."

The three humans and one house-elf went inside, to the entertainment room, and sat down as Sirius set-up the pensive. When Sirius began pulling out wiggly bits of a shimmering, silver mass, Dudley looked stuck between curious and queasy.  
Harry had asked his godfather to retrieve his memories as well and Dudley had settled for disgusted curiousity. "Oh, gross, what the hell's that stuff?" Madam Bones gave a snort of amusement before explaining memory strands and pensives. The pensive bowl was large enough for two people and when Mrs. Bones dunked her head into the silvery liquid, Dudley got a bit curious and stuck his head into the memory viewer. There in that golden bowl, witch and muggle watched a younger Sirius pass the position of secret-keeper to a grinning Peter Pettigrew. Then came a deleriously mournful Sirius handing baby Harry to Hagrid. Scenes had changed again and a positively pissed Marauder had cornered the little traitor. Sirius fired a stunner spell, right as Pettigrew fired an underpowered Reducto at the pavement. Peter visibly shrank and turned into a rat, leaving behind twelve dead muggles, a finger, and one raving mad-yet innocent man.

Harry's memories were next in view and the Headmaster's failures came to light. The troll, the pathetically easy trials to get to the Philosopher's Stone, the shade of Voldemort in the back of Quirrel's head, Harry's encounter with the horcrux diary, the fraud Gilderoy Lockheart, and the basilisk in year two, the dementors in year three, and the Tri-Wizard Tournament in year four where Harry ends up being a fourth competitor. The worst bit Was Watching Cedric Diggory die and Voldemort's resurrection. When the memories stopped both teen and auror look visibly weary. "Mr. Black, you have been innocent and suffered ten years of torture for a crime you did not commit." Harry was less weary and more angry. "That wanker Fudge never gave him a trial and ignored my warnings about Voldemort's return. He'll just sweep this under the rug. Unless we go around the daft bastard, send copies of those memories to the Daily Prophet and any influential parties willing to give a hoot."

The enlightened woman had a mischievious glint in her eyes as she spoke about the friends she had around france and in the Prophet. "Rest assured I'll be spreading those around come tomorrow, but let's see this 'movie'. I must confess I've never seen one before." Dudley passed out a few beers and put on a film about the R.A.F. against the Nazi's. As Dobby, Mrs. Bones, and Sirus watched in awe and a bit of fear, Dobby had an idea that seemed a bit far fetched. Mrs. Bones pointed a figer at the footage of a Lancaster bomber dropping a payload onto a Nazi ammunition depot and commented, "Well, there's what we need. Those bomber things are right scary, and I doubt You-know-who's lot has ever seen anything like them." Dobby looked thoughtful. Harry looked at his godfather and jokingly asked, "Well, you made a motorcycle fly, whaddya think you could do with an old bomber?" Sirius gave an uneasy chuckle. "Honestly Harry, I'm not sure any of this would work. I've got literally nothing to do anyway, so I'll look up articles back in that time period 'an see if any buidings suddenly went 'boom' in the night. We really should get to bed though. It's pretty late and we all have things we need to do tomorrow."

-and with this grase, the wheels of war began to spin, at this time nothing more than an idea in the heads of three humans and one really weird house-elf.

Re-upload of the same chapter, since I found a few errors.

I'm going to address a few issues my first three reviewers brought up.

Vellouette has a slight issue with Sirius using pot. Well, Vellouette, If you were locked in a prison for 10 years where the guards can suck out your happiness, and you did nothing wrong, then had to stay under house arrest without being able to visit your family, you'd drink and do a bit of pot wouldn't you? I sure as hell would.

Harry Hippogriff says "While a very good idea, this is very difficult to read. There are too many euphemisms and unnecessary phrases. You're trying to be funny, but you should let the characters do the talking, literally in the dialog, instead of enforcing your opinions throughout the text. I suggest getting a beta to help clear this out some." My resonse- I don't have a beta at the moment and have no idea how that works, but I'd welcome the help.

GinnyLover14 says, "Interesitng premise. Unfortunately I can't stand how you butcher the language." If you're referring to Dudley, I fixed the problem. I was half asleep when I posted the chapter. Some of his speech is still a bit screwy, but that's because I think he's a bit dumb. If you're referring to Dobby, then get over it. In an assbackward world where giving clothes to your servant is how you fire them, then teaching them to read, write, and speak properly may be akin to a marriage proposal. Besides, the Malfoys treated him as a slave. They wanted him to be capable, but stupid. Sorry, but his speech stays the same.


End file.
